Dear Ego, a letter from the heart

I feel like I am going through an inner battle. I realize that this is something that goes along with being a human. Basically my thoughts and tendencies really frustrate me. Every time I have a negative thought or feeling like the world is crashing down, I feel like I'm trapped inside this ego. I think probably I'm suppose to be doing the opposite. Rather than fighting it, just accept it. Recognize that these thoughts are like clouds in the sky, they will pass, but more will follow. Still, the sky remains peaceful. So why do I fall for the ego every time? (Maybe not every time, but it feels that way.)

I feel most happy when I am in nature. It is so rewarding to have those moments to myself where I can absorb that energy and feel freedom from my inner dialogue. Why is my ego so hurtful to me? This question has prompted me to write a letter.

Dear Ego,

Okay, listen, I know that you're only trying to survive. It's an instinctual thing and in many ways out of your control, but when did survival turn into judgement and criticism? It seems like the world today has become one huge ego and you are constantly trying to keep me in line. You keep telling me my passions are too dangerous, or that I'll never manifest what I really want. Well you're wrong! I mean, lighten up a little! You keep forgetting that I'm a spiritual being. I don't need to worry about what other people are thinking about me, or whether or not I'm "succeeding" in what society believes to be a number one priority: i.e. money. Can't we just be grateful for what we have in this moment and stop worrying about what the future holds? Or worrying about past events that will never change?

If we could just become one team, I'll let you help my physical body survive and you can let me pursue my passions without compiling a list of fears and failures. Then maybe I could start manifesting a life of bliss without any doubts holding me back. I would wake up each morning knowing that this life is mine to create and there is no failure, there is no lack, I only need to believe in myself and believe in the kindness of the Universe.

So why not just leave me alone, the real me, the one you keep forgetting about and trying to keep me from remembering? The me that has everything and lacks nothing. The me that is infinite and doesn't fear losing the "I" because it is everywhere and everything. I understand you, but you do not have control of me. You never did, although maybe I've mistaken the part for the whole in the past. I don't hate you, I don't judge you, I am just telling you that I realize now that I've always been the Jailer and the Inmate at once, you were never a part in that.

P.S. Thanks for keeping my vehicle safe!

-Juniper