Last night I was reading a book about astral projection.http://www.johnmagnus.com/Astral_Projection_and_the_Nature_of_Reality_by_John_Magnus I've been really fascinated by this concept because I think it would be so freeing to be able to leave my physical body for a little while. I want to badly to shed my ego and all the worrying that goes along with it.
Anyway, so I've been struggling with these thoughts and while reading this book everything was brought into perspective for me. The author John Magnus explains how the soul created the physical world to explore and experience and thus needed the physical body to experience it in. In order for the physical body to survive, the ego had to be developed because the soul was not going to know how to look after the needs of the physical body: food, water, shelter. From the ego's desire to survive came reasoning, because the ego needed to reason which situations, people, decisions, would result in the death of the body. Ultimately this led to judgement of others, oneself, and situations as "good" or "bad." Follow that with the reasoning that because the ego could not see anything but the physical realm, it deemed everything else unreasonable and thus we closed ourselves off from our higher selves.
I'm probably not the best to explain, so I would suggest buying a book on the subject. You don't have to buy the one I'm reading, I just thought I would share.
So, finally we are left with this ego who believes that it has to earn money in order to survive. Yes, greed was acquired by the ego because its sole focus is on self-survival. So our society is built on this foundation of greed, which we've forgotten why it exists in the first place. It seems that yes, it was necessary to have the ego so the physical form wouldn't starve to death, but we've forgotten the real reason we're here. To explore, enjoy, grow, and experience life to its fullest. The book goes on to explain that we feel unsatisfied when we are not following these true passions, but every time we feel the need to break free from our egos. They sneak up again and tell us how important our jobs are in order for us to survive. That fear just holds us in our current situations and tells us that the risk is just too great.
Let me just say how validating this chapter was. Granted I knew that this was why I was feeling the way I was. But it really drove home that I'm not greedy or selfish, it's just my higher self telling me that there is so much more potential in the world that my ego is trying to shelter me from. I do feel that pull to seek something greater and to follow my passions, but the fear of starving or losing all my money is greater. So where do I go next?
Well I am trying to pursue my passions, it still doesn't feel good enough, but I'm asking the question. I'm allowing myself to feel this way, and I'm believing that I will find a way to do this. I really am grateful for everything I've been given and I know this is the final piece of the puzzle. Why shouldn't I seek my higher self? Why shouldn't I allow myself to pursue my passions? We can't let society tell us that we are only as good as the money we make. I want to take risks, because I know that I'll never get rid of this feeling. I'll never accept a mediocre lifestyle. This yearning within my is a fire I can't seem to put out. It's a blaze I can't ignore. I just need to take the first step in believing I can do this.
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