Being My Best Friend First

Sometimes I get so mad at myself for not being my own best friend. I've always had a tendency to assume that I'm at fault. This causes all forms of self-loathing and obsession over what I've done wrong. Maybe as Empaths and Highly Sensitive People, we have extremely high expectations of ourselves. More so than of those around us. For me anyway, I always felt if I made a mistake, especially if I hurt someone else's feelings, I was the most horrible person in the world. Meanwhile, when other people hurt my feelings, I make excuses for them, or try to make them feel better.

It's so true (I've read this in various Empath descriptions) that Empaths would rather everyone around them feel better, even if that means subjecting themselves to intense pain. This is because when someone else feels guilty or ashamed, I seem to feel it ten times stronger! I hate that.

So, going back to my first ironic statement, when I say how I get so mad at myself...I'm finally recognizing that I do that. I realize that when I should really be defending myself, either openly or internally, instead I'm worrying about what the other person felt. By nature, I am constantly aware of how I am affecting other people and I've never hurt anyone. Yet I've felt responsible for taking the brunt of the pain from my own self-judgement.

Well no more! I'm going to be my own best friend from now on. Whenever someone gives me a weird look or when I've unintentionally insulted someone with an honest opinion, I'm going to say they can suck it up. Because isn't that what I expect of myself?

I'm tired of worrying over what I've said or done and all the mistakes I've made, on top of how others view me. I will do my best to help and heal those around me, but I need to come first. Part of that ability is by recognizing that I'm human. I can make a mistake, but I can be proud of myself and confident that I'm a good person. Definitely key to the Empath survival guide BTW:Be Your Own Best Friend.

My intentions are of the highest love and awareness, with this in mind I go forth with dignity!